It's 12:30am and as I lay wide awake in bed (with ice cold toes) doing some
soul searching about what's wrong with me/my band and why I'm not losing
weight, I had an epiphany.

Since I was banded, I have either assumed (or maybe subconsciously convinced myself) that I needed to eat all soft foods. A few bites of
meat/veggies/fruit etc. give me that ouch feeling, so I seem to be
thinking... The ouch is bad, stay away from the ouch. I feel like I need all
soft foods. Mashed potatoes, pasta, cream soups, tuna with mayo on
crackers... and others. When eating out, I try to pick restaurants with soft
choices for me... the whole time assuming that meat & veggies should be
avoided as to not get the "ouch" but still get something in. It has not been
self conscious thoughts at all. It's hard to explain at this hour :o)

So anyway, I'm laying in bed and BAM, it hits me. Meat & veggies are good
for me, mashed pot's with butter is not. Only being able to get a few bites
of these in, is what I'm supposed to be feeling. Maybe the band IS working!!
I have just been blindly following some dumb notion I picked up somewhere
without really thinking things out. It seems so obvious to me now that it
can't be that easy can it? Am I right? Should I be eating only a few bites
of healthy food instead of a cup of mush with added fats for flavor? It must
also be why I'm hungry all the time. Or maybe a combination of both hard &
soft?

Jessie, thanks so much for explaining why the band "loosens" over the first
week after my fill. I have had 2 fills and going in for my 3rd on Monday. I
get a fill, lose 5 lbs the first week, loosen and continue & increase the
soft stuff the next 3 weeks and not lose any more. So going by the 3 week
rule, I felt I was on a plateau. I think what I'll do is try my "new plan"
for the weekend and see if I really need the fill or not. I too get my fills
from Fox/Shrikanth, and although I think they are terrific, I get the feeling
from them that I am failing because I'm not losing fast enough for their
standards. Like if I miss that "window of opportunity" I'm screwed and once
again a failure in the weight loss department. From now on, I'll be going by
my own weight loss expectations and be thrilled at losing 30 lbs because its
the most weight loss I have ever achieved before, in my whole life!! That's a huge accomplishment. (Patting my own back).
I know you hear this all the time Jessie, but you are the bomb. You give the
best advice (over and over sometimes without complaint) and you crack me up.
I always look forward to your letters.

Its late and I probably sound like an idiot, please excuse my ramblings and
thanks for listening.

Karen Meyer
Dr. Shrikanth
Aug. 16, 2001
272/about 242 (and that's great dammit!)/150?

[Wayne Comment] Printed with full permission of the author